How to pass the complexity of adolescence 🚩 Communication




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However, the future life of the child will depend on how he will pass. Therefore, here it is important for parents to be conscious and attentive to this stage of the development of the personality of a maturing person. It is difficult for him, and he needs your help.

The process of growing up can be compared to cutting the umbilical cord at birth. After all, children are connected with their parents by invisible connections. Adolescence is the moment in life when this relationship should move to a new level. One umbilical cord is cut and a completely new one is formed.

If parents do not understand this, the process is very painful, as a result of which relations deteriorate. It takes years to restore them. The worst option is when the conflict does not disappear, and the relationship remains hostile for life.

In this case, you can just expect what all parents are so afraid of: that the teenager will start to drink, smoke and take a prick. He will do this out of protest, and not because of what he wants. In this, he will seek solace and that pleasure that he does not receive from good relations with his parents.

The teenager will find the same dysfunctional, like himself, and they will unite in a group. And then – a lot of different scenarios.

This period can be illustrated by the example of baboon monkeys living in a huge natural aviary. It seems there is a lot of space, but still the territory is limited. When teenagers grow up there, they start to make noise, play around and spit at the oldest and most authoritative baboon. True, only when he sits with his back to them. Looks like people? On our society?

Adolescents also perform such feats, which makes them asocial elements, even criminals. And all this is just a teenager show off. But he has “ours” – friends, who understand and support. And he begins to consider his parents almost enemies.

Communication, discussion and talk.

As soon as the parents notice a manifestation of disagreement with their decisions, a rejection of ordinary business or some other kind of protest, you need to sit down at the round negotiating table and discuss new conditions for cooperation in the family.

It is cooperation, not rivalry and not declaring "who is in charge here." And certainly not violence – neither mental nor physical, no matter how much you would like. Just remember that this does not solve the problem.

In negotiations it is important to take into account the main circumstance: if a child declares some of his rights, even if he accepts responsibilities. Explain that he becomes an adult, and adults have a lot to do, work, problems and responsibilities.

For example, while he cannot earn money and his parents do it, he can help around the house or go to the store. There are always affairs, and if they are evenly distributed among family members, everyone feels confident and calm in it.

That is, while he lives with you – he lives by your rules.

The outcome of the discussion may be different. Someone agrees to bear responsibilities, someone decides to stay in childhood. Someone will bear a little responsibility, and then decides to abandon them – this is also possible.

There is a problem when a teenager decides to remain a child forever. And then we are talking about “eternal adolescents”, when a thirty-year-old man does not want to take any responsibility at all.

About this crisis in the life of failed adults – in the next article.

The conclusion on this topic is this: by discussing common issues with respect to the opinion of a teenager, you can make the relationship warm and sincere. Then the adolescence will pass smoothly and unnoticed.

But in any case, it is important to let the child understand that you still love him, no matter what decision he takes in the negotiations.

One day, your son or your daughter will grow up, and they no longer want to protest and show off, and they will become more responsible and it will be easier to communicate with them.

A new stage in their life will come, at which the help of parents will also be important – do not forget about it.

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